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Friday, May 23, 2008

I just realized I never posted this

As I suspected and elaborated upon in great length here, I am an Aspie, through and through... Autistic, on the Spectrum, however you want to put it. Don't mourn for me. I finally found what I needed to, and my life grows richer every day. Not that I was looking for anything, but I knew there was something MISSING...

It's hard to describe to you if you're not "one of us," but to grow up with the sensation that you're "from another planet" or "don't belong here" and never seem to know where you DO belong or fit in, and then find out as an adult that there are other people who feel that way too - and they just happen to be a lot like you in more ways than one... well... it's nothing short of astounding. It is certainly an earth-shaking revelation, to say the least.

For me and many others it is like a huge heavy burden has just been lifted from our shoulders and the feeling of kindred I find with other Spectrumites is what I was lacking in my attempts to "fit in" with "normal" people.

Okay, so I often sought out the quirkiest of others during my lifetime: but if they were undiagnosed, as I was, we were likely to hit a clashing point eventually and then recede from friendship in embarrassment.

NO MORE. I am not ashamed of nor sorry for who and what I am. I have done things in my lifetime that I should have probably apologized for, sometimes I knew that and sometimes I truly didn't. Either way: if you are a party whom I have EVER injured in ANY way, I beg your pardon. I've never meant to harm anyone.

The truth is, my memory is VERY selective, so I don't remember much that I don't need to know. I forgive and forget, perhaps because I've prayed to be able to do this. Holding grudges is a poison that I don't wish to allow to consume me, and I would hope that likewise you can forgive and forget whatever I may have done that upset you or hurt your feelings.

If it was physical, I want to hear from you privately - because I would like to make amends to those I can. Like Rhonda Dines from the neighborhood - girl, how's your head?

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