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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Emotional

I am very emotional right now, and I don't know whether it is related to hormones or to the immense transitional period I've jumped into. Probably a bit of both.

I'm finding my dream client is turning out to be a nightmare, and my old, dusty dreams of doing something with my music have taken a quantum leap out of the box and into the present.

More and more I am finding it difficult to focus on anything that is not related to my music or charitable efforts... yet I must generate income. Do I dare go play $100/night gigs around town? At my age? Will they come hear me play, or will I feel bad for taking the owner's money after playing to an empty room?

Just playing 12-15 nights/month would cover my overhead. Anything beyond that could be put into recording, equipment for performance, costuming (my clothes suck!) or even the kids' college funds (currently nonexistent)

I love building websites, but not for the corporate world. Does that make sense? I am much more interested in nonprofits and the creative community. I suppose from now on I could pass sites I'd prefer not to do along to other designers...

In all honesty I'd like to maintain a certain "attitude" among my clientele. Is that too much to expect? Am I too idealistic? It really bugs me that one of the people I'm doing work for evicts people from low-income housing in order to convert those apts to condos for sale.

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