The President's Challenge - You're it. Get fit!

I've joined the BFL Cadets... a group headed by a girl named Julie, whose story is truly inspirational. If you're interested in participating, contact me, and I'll get you in touch with Julie so that she can give you a group/ID number.

Great workout today! Although I got into a bit of a disagreement with someone over pre-workout nutrition. No big deal... everyone always thinks they know better than anyone else...

Trying to get the kids to get off their rear ends and do some chores. This place looks like a tornado swept through here! Ugh. Well... I'm going to get up and fold ten tons of laundry... and try to get things in order a bit before I go to pick up Rex from the airport tonight. I hope his flight from Kansas City is uneventful!

Jorge's Trouble Spots: How to Cope With Temptation

Found this on aol today. Thought I'd link to it from my blog, so I could remember some of the stuff he said...

Oops! Sorry Folks!

I was just checking my web stats for my site and discovered that I had a few boo-boos! I like checking the 404 (file not found) stats, so I can see WHY they weren't found. In some cases, there appears to be no reason. But in the past week I've fixed several mistakes that were keeping people from being able to view my pages.

The one linked to above was something I was really excited about, though... in my last term at school... to put up a categorical song listing. I hope to do more with it in the future... but I'm really pleased with the way the site is coming along at the moment. Can't wait to record/add more MP3's though!

In the eye of the Beholder...nothing is secret.

Netanya is a fellow BFLer with whom I had the pleasure of chatting earlier today. I like her. I hope I get to hear some of her songs one day!

In other news... I'm starting to get really nervous about giving my speech at graduation on Friday. I found out today there will be over 1200 people there! Ack! I hope I can keep my eyes on the paper, LOL

Bob's going out of town without getting my car fixed first thus leaving me stranded. I'm not real happy about that. Sigh. I needs to earn me some income. If anyone is reading this and has some ideas... send 'em my way!

Today I went to do a few things, but nothing noteworthy, so I'll spare any readers the boring details. Suffice it to say... I've had better days. Tomorrow night should be good though, cuz I'm gonna be picking up Rex at the airport! It will be great to have him here for a week. I'm so glad he's able to make it for my graduation!

I met Rex the first year I was online (1999) and we've been best buds ever since. He's like a big brother to me... which is kewl because he never had a sister. Only brothers. Me... I'm an only child, so I CHOOSE my siblings, LOL

I have a friend in India who wants me to sell things online... we'll see if that pans out. I sure would like to earn money without getting a dreaded "9 to 5"! That old J.O.B. (Just Over Broke) thing!

Off to a GREAT start...

Well, today started off all screwy. Frank called and asked us to bring him something, but I thought I knew what he was asking for, and I was wrong. Duh. So then I went back out to take it to him, but he came home to get it. Sigh. Shoulda stayed in bed, LOL.

I have tons of things to do, but really don't feel much like doing ANY of them. We'll see which ones actually get done.

Unfortunately, I really don't have anything terribly interesting to say, so I'm just gonna scoot. If I think of something, I'll blog it later. Ciao!

All set for C2

I had Bob take my "before" photos for my second Body-for-LIFE Challenge today. I will probably wait 'til tomorrow to develop them... since Sunday is my best day for getting things done at home, so it's probably best if I don't go out running around. I'll drop them off at Walgreen's on my way home from the gym... and then I have to go to Timmy's former elementary school to officially withdraw him, since he'll be going to the Charter school.

Since I needed to use up the roll of pictures in the disposable camera, I took a series of photos of the interior of my house, to send to "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition". I ran out of film before I shot the exterior, however, so I will do that in one month, when I do my 4-week BFL photos.

I finally STARTED scanning my "slim pics" for inspiration last night... but I still have several photo albums and tons of loose photos to go through. I would also love it if Martin would scan & email the photos I gave him, which were all the best pictures of me. But since he has to PAY for that, it probably won't happen. : (

I also need to develop a flyer today, to put up at school, where Mike (the Executive Director) gave me permission to advertise my tutoring services. They currently do not have a tutor on Fridays and Saturdays... and I know from experience that many of the people who work full time can ONLY come for help on Saturdays. I'm hoping to get at least a LITTLE business out of it... I am SO tired of being broke! (I know, "wah wah wah... call the wambulance")

Well, I have a fairly busy day planned, so I'd better wrap this up and get going. Maybe later I'll log on and post some of the slim pics I've been finding.

Response so far... (to maxing out on the treadmill)

Well, Renee says to "Run, Forest, Run!" so I think I'll take her advice, and attempt running on the treadmill. It's a little scary... but I'll post how it goes when I try it. (Next Thursday?)Fitness Links

"The Most Important Meeting You'll Ever Attend Are The Meetings You Have With Yourself" by Denis Waitley

I got this article from an ezine called "Your Achievement Ezine"

You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so vitally important to your well being as the opinion you have of yourself. As you read this you're talking to yourself right now. "Let's see if I understand what he means by that... How does that compare with my experiences? - I'll make note of that - try that tomorrow - I already knew that...I already do that." I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language of the mind can be controlled to work for us, especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity. We're all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We're seldom even aware that we're doing it. We all have a running commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to them.

Be aware of the silent conversation you have with yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable saying to yourself, "That's more like it"? "Now we're in the groove." "Things are working out well." "I am reaching my financial goals." "I'll do it better next time."

When winners fail, they view it as a temporary inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.

When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement and the applause.

When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond: "Thank you." They accept value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in their conversations with themselves and with other people.

A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary time reveals inner peace and centering. People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped up by the company of others.

Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When introducing yourself in any new association, take the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and always extend your hand first, looking the person in the eyes when you speak.

In your telephone communications at the office or at home, answer the telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller, before you ask who's calling. Whenever you initiate a call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores that a person of value is making the call.

Don't brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for service are actually calling for help. The showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for attention.

Don't tell your problems to people, unless they're directly involved with the solutions. And don't make excuses. Successful people seek those who look and sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you are trying to make.

As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or she succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from him or her.

When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to success, and view ridicule as ignorance.

After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments. Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done so far. And G is for Goals. Think of your big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you. If you took your BAG - blessings, accomplishments and goals - to a party, and spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends and the people you admire, you'd take your own bag home, realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of one performance, not as a turndown of the performer.

And, enjoy those special meetings with yourself. Spend this Saturday doing something you really want to do. I don't mean next month or someday. This Saturday enjoy being alive and being able to do it. You deserve it. There will never be another you. This Saturday will be spent. Why not spend at least one day a week on You!

Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without saying anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something negative, you must put 1/2 dollar in a drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for one month and see who has had to pay the most money toward the evening.

Maxed out

Well... I went as high as I can go on the treadmill's incline. Who knew that 15 was the highest? I guess if it got any steeper, people would fall off, LOL

I'm gonna query the ladies in the groups and ask 'em what they think I should do. I can either switch to another piece of equipment, or go back down to zero incline and start increasing the speed. I'm a little afraid of running on the treadmill... we'll see what sage advice they all have. I'll post my decision here after I've made up my mind.

BTW... I never did get around to scanning my skinny pics. I really MUST do that soon. If not today, maybe tomorrow...

I had to drive Frank's Jeep (which has no A/C or radio : () to the gym today because Bob needed the car to take the kids shoe shopping. He is running out of money... and I'm starting to get worried. I really need to get a job, but I'm trying to wait until after the graduation ceremony next Friday to begin looking in earnest. I hope it won't be too little, too late!

Frank is out of town on a business trip... should be back late tomorrow. I guess he'll have Monday off. Bob is on vacation this week... so maybe on Monday they can do something together for once. The DID manage to go see Catwoman the other day.

It's so peaceful here right now... with no one else home. I've run a bath, and I'll be getting into it shortly. Gotta reboot the computer anyway... Windows Update.

Quiz: Does Your Weblog Own You?

"

12.5 %

My weblog owns 12.5 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?"

Edgy today...

I don't know why, but I feel like I'm gonna jump outta my skin. Today's w/o was brutal, and I attribute that primarily to my lack of hunger and subsequent lack of feeding myself yesterday.

I was going to go to the beach today, and hand out flyers for my open mic. nights that are going to be starting in two weeks... but I'm just too tired. What does that say about my chances of being wiped out on Fridays when I start performing? Scary. I'd better start making SURE I eat enough!

This is what I owe $13k for

Here's the degree I finally got. Sorry the pic isn't as clear as I would've liked!

Just another day in the life...

The Wonderful World of Sister Sunshine
I was on the go all day today, so it feels good to sit here at the computer and be a bit lazy... even though I know I need to do the dread housework!

At the gym, I started a new cardio routine, which I'll be doing every other cardio day from now on. I used the stairmaster: not the one that looks like an elliptical trainer, but the one that looks like a short escalator. BOY! Did I ever feel THAT! I put it on level one... but was already sweating THE FIRST MINUTE! By the 20th minute, I felt like I was gonna die. The only thing that kept me going was thinking of all my fellow BFLers in the Body for Life Women's Club and Women on Body for Life. I know it's one of the best cardio workouts I'm gonna get!

After that, I went to the bank to get some cash out... (boring) and to my school to pick up my degree. They had spelled my name wrong, so they had to reprint it!

While I was there, the kids (Selena & Timmy) and I had a bite to eat (I've been naughty today, and not sticking to my BFL authorized foods...) and I spoke to the Executive Director about putting a flyer up there for private tutoring. He gave me the go-ahead, so I'll be working on that over the weekend, to be ready next week.

I had forgotten to bring a diaper bag with me, so next stop was home to change the baby... and back out to do "school supply" shopping. We were able to get ALMOST everything at Target... but they didn't have the "Agenda/Planner" that Timmy needed, so we went to K-Mart too before we came home... at which time I had to go right back out with Timmy to order his shirts for the new Charter School he's going to be attending this fall. Since they didn't accept cash... I then had to drop by MY bank (the one I hit earlier was my hubby's) and deposit $$$ to cover the check I wrote them!

Since I was already in downtown Hollywood at the bank, I stopped off at the Post Office to check my P.O. Box... and Timmy wanted to walk over and check out the progress they're making on building his school (hard to believe it will be ready in 2 weeks!)

Finally I got to come home and take a much-needed BATH. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh if only I had some Calgon! But it was still refreshing. What a busy day! I can only imagine what it will be like when I get a job... but the income sure will be nice to have!

Just call me the brilliant Retard

Okay. I use a tv tray for the keyboard on my computer, because the little keyboard tray that slides out fell off years ago and was never fixed. (Typical around here)

Soooooooooooo... I sat down here with my post-workout meal, to catch up on email etc. and eat... and set my plate with a hamburger, mushrooms, and green beans between the keyboard and myself. Something I do all the time. What I DON'T do all the time is reach for a pen and knock the whole blasted thing over, dumping all of my food into the keyboard and behind the armoire whose back is loose...

I picked up the part on my keyboard, but the part that fell back behind will have to wait. (I actually ate the part I rescued... but the stuff back behind will go in the garbage.)

I thought of Renee (skwigg) when I did this... and I'm going to copy and paste this blog post into a post to the BFL Women's group which she moderates. I hope she gets a good laugh out of it!
: )

Had a great workout this morning... although it took me almost two hours to complete! Then we stopped at the Supplement Warehouse and got me some more Myoplex Lite. Unless I get a job soon, I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to afford the supplements I take, though. : (

This afternoon I get to (oh joy!) take my daughter Sarah shopping for some school clothes, etc. I will be GLAD when THAT is over!!!

Well, I don't seem to have anything else to say, so I guess it's time to get moving. Ta!

Learning to post pics on Blogspot

This is an old picture, but it's me! 
I still haven't figured out how to put a pic on my profile... but sooner or later I will (hopefully!)

I've been reading Renee's blog Skwigg Blog lately, and it's made me feel guilty about neglecting my own. Unfortunately, my life isn't nearly as interesting as hers at the moment... and when it DOES get more interesting, I may not have enough time to log in and blog it... but I'll try.

Today I was going to change up my routine a bit, and try a stair climber for my cardio, but there was no clock handy, and the watch I use on weight-training days has a broken band, so I couldn't figure out how to measure my time, and went back to the "treadmill room" where there's a clock on the wall. I'll get it figured out eventually. I want to start using the stair climber every other cardio workout, because I'm improving... but I don't want to hit a plateau. It's time to do something a bit different.

Now, to backtrack a bit... I finished school as scheduled, and have been focusing on my weight-training and cardio workouts. I also wanted to get my house cleaned up, but so far I only did the living room. (Baby steps) In time, I'm sure it will all come together.

I took Selena (my two-year old) to the gym with me today, and she had a fun half hour in the nursery. Afterward, we went to the discount vitamin store, where I purchased some more of the liquid Glucosamine/Chondroitin supplement I got last time... I love the stuff. It really works well for me. I also got some multivitamins for Bob (my husband) per his request... and then we went to Wal-Mart and picked up his birthday present: a pair of weightlifting gloves. I had wanted to get him a belt... but they didn't have them. I tried not to spend too much, since I had to use my credit card... and he'll end up having to pay for it himself! But I wanted to get him SOMETHING!

Well, I guess I'll wrap up this entry. I'm sure no one wants to hear about the mundane tasks I need to log off and attend to (housework, etc.) but they must be done... oh, and today I want to make my "skinny pictures" a priority. That means I'm going to go through all the photo albums for pictures of me the way I used to look... and want to look again. However, when I looked that way before, it was not a healthy slimness... it was a half-starved, low-energy, flabby thinness. I don't want to be like THAT again... just that SIZE! When I was thin before, I thought I had to starve myself down to 100 lbs to fit into a size 3. Now I know that 130 lbs of muscular leanness will ALSO fit into a size 3... and still have energy for all of life's challenges!

One last note: on a hunch, I got up today and tried on some shorts I haven't fit into for a while... the size 10's fit! Yay! Now to get into the 9's... and then 7's!

Okay. I haven't been here for a while... but I've been reading Renee's blog, and I realized I really ought to start writing in mine again.

I'm going to make this a short entry, though... because I want to look at my blog and see when the last time I wrote was. (Prolly at least four months!)
Yahoo! Mail - ledheadlydia@yahoo.com

SISTER SUNSHINE'S DIARY

Here we go again... months go by and I haven't had time to drop by here and say something. Well... here I am... see my dust as I leave again, LOL!

I finish school on June 24th... then maybe I'll get back to things like this a bit more. In the meantime, I had to cancel my re-enrollment at FCC because they suspended the program I wanted to take indefinitely... plus I'm just sick of studying right now. I need a break... time off.

I already have my next three months planned, but I'm too tired right now to fill it all in here... so MAYBE I'll get back before too long to do that!

BTW... My new and improved website is up and running at www.sistersunshine.com

It's amazing how busy I get... I will be finished with the course I'm currently taking in June, and I've re-enrolled to study graphics/animation next. The classes I'm taking right now are pretty hard, so it takes a lot of my attention and energy. I'm not working, either. I left my job at the beginning of this term. I don't think I could work and keep my 4.0 GPA at the moment. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd rather play it safe. Yahoo! Groups : My Groups

3/6/2004 1:30 PM
This is so depressing… sitting here looking around at the huge mess that I never have the energy to tackle. And I’d hire a maid… if I had any money to do so with.

Mountains of laundry and dishes… thick film of dust and dirt on shelves, books, and other household contents… sticky floor that seldom gets swept and/or mopped…

I do draw the line at leaving dishes long enough to begin growing science experiments… but even those occasionally turn up, disgusting though they may be.
Google

WOW! I can't BELIEVE it's been SO LONG since I made it here to post! I guess that proves how much of a 180 my life has taken, and how incredibly busy I am these days.

I also wanted to mention my favorite ice cream... which I wish I could afford to have airmailed to me... maybe in the near future when I start putting the skills I've acquired to good use. The Best Ice Cream in the World

Okay. I'm slacking off again. But to my credit, I've been pretty sick. I still managed to go to work on Friday, as well as do a tutoring job today. Plus I took Sarah & Selena and went down to the beach to see Billy White. He's not looking too well... I hope he gets better. He worries me.

Still sick, and went to work anyway. It's a good thing I did, because I ended up actually TUTORING all day, rather than just sitting there, killing time, as I so often am these days. Not gonna write much right now cuz I still feel lousy.

I am really sick today. I came home from work early because of it, and the other tutor has been out for two days. I'm going to really have to muster some gumption to go to work and stay six hours tomorrow!

Been a busy day... the latest spate of emails I sent out looking for work have been getting great responses... today I got a guy interested in having a website built for him. He's interested in having some Flash animation done, so I spoke to someone who took that class already in order to possibly forge an alliance for this project. I am hoping to build up a nice clientele in this manner. In the meantime, the tutoring at least gives me a (small but) steady paycheck.

The trip to AIU was informative, and both encouraging and disappointing. While I don't think it's going to be possible for me to transfer now, it gives me a goal to reach for, and I think I'll like going to school there a great deal.

I'm sorry, but I really don't feel like saying much more right now. Getting up at 5 to get the kids up & off to school is wearing me down. I'll be really delighted to go back to bed tomorrow. (Not going to work 'til 2) But I have school right now. Ugh. I wish I could afford a sitter so I could switch back to night classes.

I am having too much trouble concentrating on my homework. I need to go to AIU and get it out of my system once and for all whether I decide to transfer or not. I called and left a message for Donna to call me, but I haven't heard back from her yet. Dunno what time of day she comes in.

I got most of the damned laundry caught up, but the kitchen is piled high with dishes. I hope someone else is going to take the initiative there...

Selena's still sleeping, but when she wakes up she's gonna want a lot of attention. If I haven't left by then, it'll probably take me at least a half hour more at that point to get out the door.

In reading through my past journal entries from the beginning (which I did yesterday) it is clear to me that I've come a long way in the past year. Now, I believe, it is time for me to reach a little further. I am planning to transfer to AIU for a bachelor's degree instead of the Associate's degree I'm currently studying for. I feel that I'll enjoy the collegiate atmosphere of the University a lot more than the "working class" atmosphere at the school I attend now. Also, AIU includes a laptop computer as part of the tuition because they have you do all of your studying using the laptop rather than their own equipment.

All that remains is for me to go over and officially enroll, and to decide whether to drop my current classes so that I can start over there sooner... and to see how many of my credits are even going to transfer. The fewer credits that will transfer, the sooner I should go ahead and make the change! (Why keep working/paying for "empty" credits?)

I have maintained a 4.0 GPA as well as done a good job on all the work they've thrown at me as a Federal Work Study (read "slave") employee... and I'm ready to make a higher wage and break free. One might say my "clipped wings" have grown out... and it's "time for me to fly".

Wow! It's been an awful long time since I dropped in here... and I really DO have a lot to say... but maybe not right now. I'll have to see about coming back later. Jeez, I need to get a bit more regular about this.

Wow! I haven't been here in a while, and they've changed the whole interface! I like it. So far. It's amazing how busy I've gotten... I see the last time I posted was before I found out that I got the job. I've been there almost three months now! If I stay there another month, I'll have worked there for longer than I ever worked anywhere else!

Still haven't heard from the school... but we have dsl up and running now. Frank's still trying to get his wireless nic to work...

Time, time. Where does it go? Mine just flies past without a chance to get much done. But I've just completed my fourth term at school, and I don't go back 'til next Monday. Unless, of course, I get the job which I applied for, as Assistant to the Director of Education at my school. I'll be back after I find out whether or not I have it...

Oh dear... I just never find time to get here any more, do I? Such a shame. Well... been busy with school and Selena, is all I can say!

I was just looking back at old posts... I never DID quit smoking. I decided that I don't want to leave aol, because if I do, I'll have to move 7 of my webpages, plus re-make my newsletter, since I haven't found a way to change my primary email address for it. Sigh... therefore, we probably won't get DSL 'til I have a job.

The kids are gonna get "cabin fever" due to it being too cold to go outside and play. They're gonna drive me nuts today!

It's a COLD day for Florida... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr a high today of only 66 degrees, and colder than THAT with the wind chill. To those from colder climes, it may seem petty but we don't have winter wardrobes nor does our heat work. SOOOOOOOO brrrrrrrrrrr!

Amazing... I thought the main blogger page was all black, and the icon red... because my old monitor was SOOOOOOOO dim... but my NEW monitor, which I got for Christmas, clearly shows that there are blocks on the main page with other colored backgrounds, and that the blogger icon is ORANGE! Truly astounding! Plus the new monitor is 19" which is 2" larger than the old one... I like it. It'll do quite nicely for the time being.

I am really not doing very well at being consistent with this journaling. I'll have to try harder, I guess. I can't even remember all the things I've wanted to note and let pass by...
: (

I haven't been here in a while, and I don't have time to stay right now. But I've bookmarked it again (my computer crashed, and I'm setting my favorites, etc. back up now...)

I'll be back!

My friend Frank from England is going to be here this evening. Not sure how long he's going to stay here in south Florida... he got a free trip to Orlando plus $300 to do a wiring job for a long-time customer of his, and figured while he was over here, he'd come down so we could meet in person.

Today has been absolutely GRUELING. I got up and folded the last load of Billy's laundry left over from last night, then took Sarah to the dentist, then went to Billy's & put away his clean laundry, plus I scrubbed down his bathroom and got the last few loads of his dirty laundry. I've just finished washing the last load of his laundry, and the second to last is in the dryer... sigh.

Oh, forgot to mention I was cleaning for Billy cuz he went into the hospital and had been so sick his apt. was a WRECK!!!

So... I'm hoping that by the time I'm done folding this last load of his laundry, they'll release him and I can pick him up from the hospital, too... but maybe that's too much to hope for.

OMG! I can't believe it's been so long since I posted here! I guess I've just been so busy with school, it's completely slipped my mind!

SOOOOOO much has happened since the last post... we went to boy scouts, we stopped going, on Sarah's birthday we went to the zoo... Joey bitched all day, but they all got bags of free candy & stuff cuz of some Halloween promotion...

The following Saturday I think was the Web Club at school... it was interesting...

The car has a BLOWN HEAD GASKET (READ $$$$$$$$) AND MAYBE A CRACKED BLOCK TOO, because Bob didn't see fit to go get the damn thing fixed when it began to overheat... just kept on putting water in. Now we may be buying Buddy's black Lincoln from across the street...

Etc. etc. and so on. It's been a pretty good Thanksgiving, I can't complain (now) but of course I was bitchy earlier when I was cooking!

I have a ton of laundry to fold/wash etc. so I guess I'd better just bookmark this site on my IMPORTANT list and make sure I get here on a more regular basis again!

She finally went out the door... after being insufferably nasty to me.

I am sooooooooooo exhausted!

If Sarah doesn't get a move on, she's going to miss the bus today.

I gave up and drove the car yesterday. I'm glad I don't have school today.

I read the wrong day's selection on Wednesday, then had to read the right one. On the positive side of that, I've read what I need to for Tuesday, so now all I need to do is study for the quiz.

I'm getting very tired. Walking to and from the bus stop with a heavy backpack is exhausting... and apparently the car's not going to be repaired for ANOTHER week. They want it dropped off on a Monday or Tuesday... who cares what they want? It is ridiculous that we should be inconvenienced like this. We are not the ones who wrecked our car... we were rear-ended... the victims in the situation. They say the car is driveable, but with a taillight out I don't want to risk getting a ticket.

Frankie is treating me like dirt, and I'm tired of it. His girlfriend has become the center of his universe, and when I tell him to do something or not to do something, he just waits 'til I go to school then does as he pleases because he knows his father will let him do whatever he wants. This causes further tension between Bob and myself as I think he's entirely too lenient and permissive (read "doormat") and it just makes me sick. Divorce wouldn't help either, because then he would have even MORE license to spoil them when it was his turn to have them. Back to the old statement: I'd rather be a widow than a divorcee...

Today is going to be a tough one. I'm going to have to ride the bus to school for the first time, and I'm nervous about getting to school on time. I'll be glad when this day is over. I wonder how long it'll be before our car is fixed.

It started out this morning, when I got upset because my husband stated the intent to take my son to get his learner's permit (for driving) Without consulting with me, and against my wishes... As it will add $250/month to our car insurance cost... for Frank to practice driving, he has to be on our insurance policy.
So THEN we went to the cub scout picnic, and on the way, Joanna (Frank's girlfriend) who came to help transport us all, cuz we don't all fit in our car... hit us (we had a car accident) So now our taillight is broken and the trunk of the car won't close.
I think Sarah (my oldest daughter) and I have whiplash, but I'm waiting 'til we've slept a night before going to have it checked out, because sometimes if they check you out too soon nothing shows up.
Well, the GOOD part is, now Frank is committed to getting a job to pay his own share of the car insurance rather than ME having to get a job and leave the baby for 12 hours a day (8 to work, 4 for school... plus more for travel time, really...)
I'm still not certain we'll get by without me getting a job soon... I don't know if we'll have to pay a deductable to have our car repaired, or if that will all be covered by Joanna's policy...
We need $48 for the boys' photo packages, and Sarah wants us to get pizza for her class for her presentation on the same day as the boys school pictures... so that'll be another $30 or so...
It (the car accident) was Joanna's fault. I stopped to let oncoming traffic enter the expressway ahead of us, and she thought I was going to go ahead and jump in front of them (perhaps because that's what SHE would have done?) Which makes me concerned about Frank driving around with her... I had already previously noted her tendency to speed...
I am really stressed out tonight :-(

Badddddddddddddddddddddddddd day.

I have so much to do today, and all I want to do is go back to bed. I have a dental checkup at 10 am, and a mountain of laundry... not to mention dishes... the rest of the house is a mess, too. Plus I need to do some reading for school. But I'll take it all in stride. After the dentist, I'd like to get a nap before I start trying to do anything else, but I can only do that if the baby will lie down with me.

Okay. She FINALLY got up... but she's being nasty to me. : (

It is SO hard to get Sarah up in the morning... even if she's had a nap after school the day before!

I am enjoying school, but I'm glad it's only four days a week. I'm exhausted!

My first day of school went well... Selena didn't seem to miss me a bit. We'll see how she acts by the fourth day...

Selena just woke up, so I'd better start closing windows to log off. My time is up.

NOW I'm trying to quit smoking so we can afford DSL without getting rid of my prized second phone line... we can't afford to unless I quit smoking. Plus, I'd like to be free of that slavery anyway...

On the plus side of it, I AM glad to be in a cooler bedroom!

Last weekend we switched bedrooms with the boys... lot of work. Glad we don't have to do THAT every day!

It's so quiet here right now, I could almost believe I like it here. Unfortunately, I know that will be short-lived...

I'm feeling very lazy today, and I know I need to get up off my ass and get some things done, but I really just don't feel like it. I bet I'll be sorry...

I start school tomorrow. I'm very nervous about it. I hope I haven't made a huge mistake in committing to a 2-year degree program!

I am not patient enough to be a teacher. I don't think I'm ever going to go back to homeschooling again unless there is very good reason to do so.

Timmy annoys me asking stupid questions to get his homework done. Most of them are things he could figure out for himself if he would think first before jumping to ask for someone's help.

I knew it. Selena's already awake. Frank laughed at the tv in there and woke her up before she was even asleep for ten minutes. Sigh. My life sux sometimes.

I am DREADING the "switch" this weekend... Bob & I are switching rooms with the boys because Frank is soon going to have two computers and there is no room for them in the boys' current room. Also, the room the boys are in now is cooler than the converted garage which currently serves as the master bedroom. Plus the converted garage has no closet, and the closet is wasted on the boys... they just had it all piled up with junk & never used it.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's quiet here for a moment now. I just got the baby down for a nap, and although she SHOULD take a two hour nap, she probably won't, so I'm gonna make the best of it. Timmy's at the table doing his homework, Sarah's still eating some spaghetti, and I don't know about Joey, but I assume he's doing his homework in the bedroom or I would've heard about it from Frank by now.

The boys are making me miserable. Timmy won't listen to Joey after school, and Joe gets frustrated and goes on ahead without him... today Timmy didn't cross at the crossing guard... so I guess I'm gonna have to go back to walking down to pick 'em up every day.

On the bright side, Selena seems to be learning to amuse herself for short periods of time. Right now she's unloading the "little people" from a box... uh oh... spoke too soon... now she's next to me banging on my chair with a plastic spoon she found on the floor!

Neverending adjustments... sigh. Well, we had a nice long weekend, since the younger kids had Yom Kippur off from school. Timmy got hurt last night, but he didn't hesitate to get up and go to school today. What a little trooper! So far they have been doing quite well in school. On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of last week I went to breakfast with Sarah. That was rough... being ready and leaving here at 6:30 am, but we managed! On Thursday we even took Selena along. Free food... yay!

On Saturday, however, the car broke down, and it's still broken down at the church where I had gone to pick up Joe after he had an outing with the church group. I think it's the linkage in the gear shift... preliminary estimate is $500 for a 5-hour repair... IF that's really what the problem is. I think Bob's gonna have it towed to a shop on Wednesday, and plan to pick it up/pay for it on Thursday when he's gotten paid. Sigh again... it's always something!!!

The baby's sleeping, but fitfully, as she's got a cold/cough. She has an appointment for a checkup on Tuesday, but I don't think she'll be getting her shots if she's still sick.

I enrolled in a webmaster course at the college Frank's attending today. He is taking the network engineering course. It will take me two years to earn an associate degree. I hope I do well with it!

Well, it's off to another hectic day...

I have to get up at 4:30 am to get Sarah up in time to go to her bus stop... and she barely gets out of here on time. Today she was halfway there and came back because she'd forgotten to get lunch money from me!

Damn! These days I don't know whether I'm coming or going half the time... but so far the kids are doing well in school, and I'm trying to enroll in a web design/webmaster course myself. Wish me luck!

Well, so far so good... but it's only the first day. I got up at 5 am and got them off to school, but it's going to take a while before I adjust to this routine...

I know, I know, I said I didn't want 'em in school, but I need a break. The baby's gotten very demanding, and they WANT to go to school SO badly... I figure it can't hurt to let 'em go for a while. Maybe I can even get a part time job and earn a little dough?

Well, mission accomplished. Today was a tough day, but I made it through it. I had to go have a test for carpal tunnel syndrome... and I took my two youngest boys along because on the way back we went for their certified teacher evaluations so that they can be placed properly in (gasp... dare I say it?) school.

We went to the park (Greynolds Park) today. It was SO hot! I forgot to put my hair up... by the time we left I was DRIPPING! I gotta remember to put my hair up and wear a cutoff sleeveless shirt next time!

Ken Brevett called today... I haven't heard much from him in ages. He found me online by doing a web search on his own name, which he found on my song explanations page, where I mentioned that he had asked me to write a song about brotherhood, and the result was my song "Family". After he emailed me the first time, I got a second email from him, then today he called. He said he's going to come by here and visit next Saturday. I hope so! It will be nice to see him!

Bob just left for work... but tomorrow night and Saturday night he's off. We are SO broke! I think I had better find some work, unless God grants us a complete miracle in our finances!

I let Frankie go out of town today with his girlfriend on a church-sponsored trip to Universal's "Islands of Adventure". I hope Jo (his gf) took her camera along! They should be back in Hollywood in about an hour, and hopefully home not too long after that.

I haven't been getting online very much lately... I mean, I usually get on every day, but only for an hour or so, not enough time to keep up.

I think I'm gonna write that song I've been thinking about for years... "I'd rather be a widow than a divocee" (if he drops dead, don't look at me)

I'm also sick of the way Bob hogs the bed so that I have to wake him up if I want to get into it. If I wake him up, he wants to hold onto me like a teddy bear, and frankly, I can't stand that. I wish he worked 7 days a week, sometimes, just so I could go to bed at night and sleep.

Frank's FINALLY getting around to mopping the floors tonight... so I suppose I'm in his way... oh well. I'm not real happy about still being up, either.

Once again, Bob's off work in the middle of the week... and we're broke. What pisses me off is that they called and said he could come into work tonight if he wanted to and he said no.

Wow... I haven't been here in a while. Good sign how out of control my life has gotten... ugh.

I didn't get online at all yesterday... it was such a busy day! We went to church, then I had a lot to do to get Joey off to camp... plus I cooked twice. Today I had to get up early to get Joey off to camp, and I don't feel like doing my housework, so I'm avoiding it by being online. Surprise, surprise...

The baby is very demanding, and I haven't been feeling well lately, either.

I am having a hard time getting online for any length of time lately... gotta make some changes soon!

I hate it when he's online all night long, then still hangs out on the computer in the morning, playing stupid games. In fact, I hate relinquishing the computer to any of the rest of my family members, because all ANY of them do is play stupid games. What a waste of time. Meanwhile, I never have time to catch up on all my email.

I'll be glad when Bob goes back to work.

The whole family is getting on my nerves... they were all in the living room, except for Sarah... making noise, so I couldn't concentrate to read... now they've finally all dissipated.

Still working on getting over the cough, and sniffling a bit... but I think Selena's all better.

I'm still not feeling very well, either, which doesn't help. Plus, Bob's off work, now, 'til next Wednesday, and I can't stand it when he's off work. Hopefully he'll do more than sit on the computer all night every night...

Lousy night... baby woke up in the middle of the night and did NOT want to go back to sleep! Now Bob has taken Joe, Tim, and her to Young Circle Park to see a parade, and I've put in potatoes to bake to go with the steaks we're supposed to be grilling for lunch. Dunno when Bob will actually get back, though...

Still sick, still rainy... oh well. No MAJOR disasters around here, anyway, just the usual slow decay...

I'm getting too stressed out. I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack or stroke... getting too fat, still smoking Camel Filters, and not getting any exercise... ugh. I hate myself when I get like this!!!

It's been raining all day, and it's been a helluva day. Bob went out this morning to dry the laundry I washed, but he forgot one of the loads so I had to get Frank to take it to his girlfriend's house and dry it. The kids are all stir crazy and driving me nuts... I wish I could go out, but even if I could think of a good excuse to just go on out and enjoy myself, I look like hell cuz I'm still getting over this head cold, and I've got no money to spend.