Here we are... another Monday. After I write this I think I'm going to go back to bed. The baby woke me up in the middle of the night, and I'm all groggy now. Not that I have any real trouble sleeping otherwise... I do sleep well, even if my dreams ARE kinda bizarre.

Today I need to call a repairman to get an estimate on having my dishwasher fixed, before my husband changes his mind about it. The solar panel (hot water heater) has begun to leak again... I wonder how many times THAT is going to have to be repaired?

The lying bitch from DCF will be calling back today, too, to see when she can come see the kids. They won't be closing the case 'til I complete rehab, and I don't know how long that's going to take, since their primary goal is to make me think differently. I wish I weren't so honest, because if I could just lie and get it over with it would be a lot easier. This whole rigamorale is really getting to me. I feel terrorized by these people... traumatized... if only I could afford a good lawyer. Then I'd tell 'em all to take a flying leap. But alas... I can not even afford to buy a single Christmas present, much less hire a lawyer. At least my husband has a little money that his father gave him, part of his dead uncle's estate. But he seems dead set on spending it all for Chrismas junk instead of using it to fix up what needs it around here. Sigh. Well, I guess I can't complain. He could have thrown me out a long time ago, and he's still putting up with me after all my bullshit.